What is the need that cooking meets 3/10/11

Cooking as a labour meets the basic needs of sustenance.  Cooking meets my basic needs for survival but there is much more to it.  Recently my mother came down to Dunedin. We took a trip down to the Catlins staying in a batch. My mother is a busy woman and gives a lot of her time and energy into helping others. So when she was here my need was to be a good host to her and look after her. Going away for the weekend it was her need to not have to think about where we were going, doing or specifically what we were eating.  So for me it meant making a mental note of plan of what we would be eating. Making sure we had the ingredients, if not purchasing them, taking everything we would need with us. And being able to judge what my mother needed or wanted.  It was unsaid who would do the cooking but assumed it would be me. I checked in with her what she wanted was she hungry and made a meal that I knew would work and be tasty making the effort to make something that would meet her needs. I made sure both our needs were met in that there would be enough left over for lunch the next day. As the dinner was being cooked she was able to relax and enabled us to chat and talk about the past. Before the meal was made I had already met my need by allowing my mother to rest and us to connect.  The anticipation that dinner was on the stove and someone else was looking after it was enough.

The need was really the need for reciprocity for what my mother does for me and for others. Of course traditionally my mother had been the one to do all the looking after of me, cooking having been a major part of this. But in recent years it has changed not to me looking after my mother, but the balance of give and take becoming more even. Cooking is one of the most oboist ways for me to care for my mother and show her affection.  And it is a need of mine to show her my level of competence and ability to look after others.